Your relationship with money
What does your relationship with money look like? For some, money can cause a lot of problems. For others, it can connect them with the things that matter. Should we be less material if we want to feel better, or should we focus on money to lead us to our best life?
To help you create the right relationship with money, I’d like to explore some things we really need to consider.
What’s essential
What do you have to spend money on? The things that have to be prioritised and won’t go away. Food, fuel and accommodation are just the start. There’s a line we can’t cross, but some people do. They’re often swayed from what’s essential to what’s optional, and feel the need to treat themselves.
Temptation creeps in, along with a few hits of dopamine.
Their heads are often buried in the sand, and that won’t help in the long run. We have to prioritise essentials and do everything we can to cover that hard line and be secure. This can lead us to another problem though.
Some people don’t move past this way of thinking. They worry about the essentials and having enough to cope with surprises, even though they’ve moved way past that line. It’s understandable, as they’ve probably struggled or had to be very careful in the past. They’ve got used to worrying about money.
I’d take a second to consider how some people can be ‘mentally poor’. The key thing for me is that they’re unlikely to do anything meaningful with their money, and that leads us to the next thing I’d like you to think about.
What we value
When we think of what’s valuable, we’re often drawn to possessions. The sort of things we’re likely to insure. But what about experiences? Time spent doing things we love, often with the people who matter.
Money can connect us with the things we really value and provide meaning.
Hobbies, interests and what we do to have fun. It can take us to amazing places that create unique experiences. We can use money to broaden our minds and go beyond our horizons. As I said, this can often involve the people who matter. Great days and nights out, holidays and the right environment to really connect.
Money is part of our life, we can’t change that. Spending on experiences though, that’s likely to help us feel better. Far better than hoarding things just to have them, or spending money to make the right impression on the wrong people. People who are likely to judge you.
There can be that fear of looking like you don’t belong, or you’re in some way inferior. You don’t have the right car or wear the right clothes. Let’s just take a second to think about this though. Would someone who judges you like this really be worth that expense?
When we do buy things, we can make sure they are things we’ll use and appreciate. Not just expensive trophies, or something we acquire to fill a hole in our life. A hole that often just gets bigger.
We can easily fall into a trap. We can keep working to attain things, get more and make the right impression, and that leads us nicely to the next point.
A simple question, how much is enough?
You really need to ask yourself this question. Imagine what would happen if everyone did that? If everyone could pinpoint what they actually needed. What they were working for and how much was enough.
This could be the point they stop and focus on other parts of their life.
How many people are out there working themselves to breaking point to gain a title? To make sure they have more things than their friends, neighbours and colleagues. To show other people they are successful.
How many people are working themselves to breaking point and ignoring important relationships? They could also be ignoring their health and the finite time we all have on this planet.
Think about that for a second. Where do you find meaning and what are you working for?
What does your relationship with money look like?
I appreciate that times are tough for a lot of people out there. We simply have to work hard and we probably need a considerable safety net when it comes to money. Thinking about any sort of optional expense or luxury may not be possible at the moment.
I understand, but I honestly think we face a lot of these problems because of the relationship other people have with money. That need to keep acquiring and protect it at all costs and never to share. It leads us to inequality and suffering.
I believe this mentality can also lead people to believe that anyone without a considerable sum of money is a failure. That they don’t deserve help or a better life. Have a think about this, as I can assure you there’s a lot more to it.
As I said at the start though, the most important thing is that we focus on that question. What does your relationship with money look like?
Have you taken care of what’s essential and do you know what that line of security looks like for you? Do use your money to connect you with the things you find valuable and provide meaning? Finally, you can then ask yourself that important question, how much is enough?