Flipping negatives into positives
It’s easy to say something negative about yourself. If someone is struggling with self-confidence, they can naturally sell themselves short without realising. They may have also taken a knock that has caused them to doubt themselves. I’m used to this though, I understand and I have a simple exercise that can help.
It’s all about flipping negatives into positives.
This is something I use when I’m helping people prepare for interviews. A lot of the time, things have been difficult for them and they aren’t feeling positive. This is often reflected in what they say. When we’re practicing, they often make negative, closed statements. Things like this:
I don’t have any experience of this.
I have difficulty remembering things.
I can get overwhelmed at times.
For me, in interviews and in life the ‘flip’ is so important. This is when we ‘flip’ a negative into a positive in a genuine and authentic way. To help, I ask people to write out some potentially negative statements about themselves, like the ones above. I then ask them to add another line that ‘flips. it into a positive. Like this:
I don’t have any experience of this. I have done similar work though and I’m confident I could soon get to grips.
I have difficulty remembering things. If I receive clear instructions though, I always make notes and quickly establish routines.
I can get overwhelmed at times. This is why I always try to focus on one key task and work to identify what’s essential.
As you can see, this is all about starting to train a muscle. To naturally look for positives to counter negatives. It goes far beyond interviews and employment though. It’s about the stories we tell ourselves. Some more examples could include:
I lack confidence.
I struggle to motivate myself sometimes.
I tend to put on weight.
They are fairly negative statements. Ones we ruminate on that can become part of our story. When we apply the flips though, that story naturally starts to change. Those ‘flips’ could look like this:
I lack confidence. I’m naturally quite introverted though and I’m proud of the way I overcome it when I need to.
I struggle to motivate myself sometimes. I really try to understand what’s causing the resistance though and make sure I work at the right times, when I’m likely to have more energy.
I tend to put on weight. I do everything I can to react to this though and put things in place to counter it as soon as I can.
You get the idea. If you’re feeling up to it, you could try this yourself. Just write ten or so lines and then go back to ‘flip’ them. See what happens.
One final piece of advice. If you’ve read my post, State, story and strategy, the road to recovery you should be aware that this is really about the story and strategy stages. If you’re not feeling great and need to settle your state, I’d focus on that before you think about this.
I hope this helps and it’s an exercise you can keep repeating. Training that muscle to ‘flip’ negatives into positives is so important. It can help you change the story you tell yourself and take the right view of the world around you.